Multigenerational Conversations – Watch your Language
August 3, 2009
Communicating across generations is always difficult. When today’s Gen Y’s say things like “I’m down with that,” older generations may find themselves wondering whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Older generations will make references to things, like carbon paper, that younger generations have no frame of reference to understand. It’s not meant to be rude, we just think and speak in the language of our peers. Those differences can either be embraced as learning opportunities or can be jolts that never let good communication take root.
But what happens when there are differences of opinion and approach beyond just the use of language? For example, a Gen Y comes into a new job and sees the use of an older technology that causes a process (and potentially the employee) to be less efficient. In the new employee’s mind, the frustrated thought is, “This is ancient!” Even if the employee doesn’t actually say that, it can usually be read on the employee’s face.
Managers are not without insensitive reactions of their own. When the employee questions a system or process, a response is likely to be that the employee is “naive,” “doesn’t know what he or she is talking about” and “should speak up only when he or she understands the situation better.”
Neither of these attitudes or approaches will lead to an open discussion, an exchange of ideas, and potential process improvements.
Another area that seems to bring quick disagreement is around the use of Internet and social networking tools in the workplace. When organizations block the use of these tools, it’s generally a way to increase focus, productivity and security. However, most Gen Y’s view blocked access to Internet and Social Network tools as significantly reducing their ability to work effectively. Much has been written about this conflict including a recent article by Martha Irvine entitled, “Young Workers Push Employers for Wider Web Access and my “Social Networking Tools – To Enable or Disable Access?”
You can only imagine how contentious and heated a conversation between a manager and Gen Y can get around this topic. Whether stated or unstated, it will eventually degrade into “This is ancient!” and “How naive.”
Let me offer a different approach – 4 magic words.
When someone makes a statement or responds to a question and you strongly disagree with the premise or conclusion, respond with a simple:
I SEE IT DIFFERENTLY
as in, “That’s interesting. I see if differently.” Then proceed to make your case with an unemotional, well-constructed counter-argument. Saying “I see it differently” is not saying, “you’re wrong” and it’s not saying “you’re an idiot.” It’s saying “give me an opportunity to explain my point of view which differs from yours. Then we can discuss it.” It lets the listener listen and not immediately get defensive. It gives both parties an opportunity to see the other’s side and potentially reverse some or all of their position without losing face. Done in the right tone, it allows the listener to say, “I never thought of that.”
Think of the how much better your dissension will be received if it begins with those 4 simple words.
Leveraging Lessons from Susan Boyle’s Audition
April 27, 2009
I assume by now most of you have seen Susan Boyle’s audition as part of Britain’s Got Talent. You’ve watch how this middle aged woman with a somewhat frumpy appearance and some awkward mannerisms, amidst giggles and rolling eyes, captured an audience’s heart as soon as she was given the opportunity to showcase her strength.
So what does this have to do with business? Everything. An audition is basically a job interview and there’s so much we can learn from Susan’s experience and example. Did she fit our profile of a singing star? No. Did she know that the audience was laughing at her? Yes. Did she let that distract her or take her off her game? No. Did she change minds? You bet she did!
So, yes the whole story plays like a Hallmark Movie of the Week on speed. But why has this story had so much impact and viral traction (with over 45 million views to date?) Why have so many of us not just watched this once, but several times? Here are the things that have resonated with me:
People can be so cruel
Pam Belluck’s recent New York Times article “Yes, Looks Do Matter,” explains why we stereotype. But teasing is a cruel extension of stereotyping.
Several years ago, I mentored a wonderful girl from a nearby elementary school. One day when she was about 11, we were working together on math and she started to cry. When I asked what was wrong, she told me that the kids on the bus were teasing her and calling her fat. This beautiful girl was wasn’t stick thin, but was by no means anything approaching “fat.” I reassured her and then she said, “They always find something to tease about. Will it always be this way?” I explained that children can be cruel, that it usually stems from their own insecurities, that she should remember who her friends are and listen to them, and that a thick skin will serve her well.” I further explained that adults aren’t like that. They don’t tease.
I haven’t thought about that conversation for years until I watched Susan Boyle’s audition. It reminded me that adults do tease. We tend not to tease to someone’s face in the same way that children and adolescents do, but we do tease. When in the setting like Britain’s Got Talent etc. it seems that it is acceptable through a kind of group think to laugh at someone out loud. Either way, adults tease. Even if we don’t tease to someone’s face, we say things and tell stories behind people’s backs that we wouldn’t say to their face and would prefer they never know we said. We should know better.
Lesson: Shame on us!
Minds can change quickly
There was only one person in the auditorium that day who had faith in Susan’s voice and that was Susan. The shift from expectation to experience reminded me of a pendulum swinging. The further back the weight is pulled from its equilibrium position, the broader the trajectory. In Susan’s case, based on her appearance and mannerisms, the expectation of excellence was so low that the reality of her performance caused an even greater audience reaction than it might have had the audience expected her to be “good.”
Perhaps that’s why both the judges and the audience erupted when they saw that “she can sing!” There was suddenly a new bandwagon and everyone in the room wanted on. The judges whiplashed from dread to a look of pride, like that of parents who always believed in an awkward child’s potential and were now seeing it unfold before their eyes: Simon smiled every time Susan hit the high notes; Amanda pointed upward, willing Susan to nail the difficult upward progression on the word “shame;” and Piers looked almost moved to tears. The judge’s and audience’s enthusiasm and support demonstrated their surprise with a sprinkling of guilt. (Maria Puente’s USA article “Why Susan Boyle Inspires Us,” lists many of the things we feel as we watched Susan’s audition.)
Lesson: Don’t give up on the success you deserve if you have the talent. One win can change everything.
Crunch Time
Professional athletes talk about how the crowd often pulls them through the toughest games. The crowd supports them, even when they’re not playing well. The crowd simply wills them to succeed. Think about how scary this must have been for Susan to go out there not expecting the audience’s support and certainly not getting it (before she started singing.) It would have been easy to understand how the judge’s and audience’s response to her pre-song chat would have made her crumble. Not only didn’t she crumble, she soared. It made her performance that much more impressive.
Lesson: The more resistance you anticipate, the stronger you must be. Keep your focus. The best response to resistance is excellence. Be excellent!
Confidence and Excellence only gets you so far
Susan knew she was good. Right before she went on stage, she said “I’m going to make that audience rock.” It only took a few seconds for the audience to shift from judgmental laughter to supportive applause. So, by the time the judges “votes” came about, she knew she had done well. But her elation, and wonderfully joyful stamping feet upon hearing the judge’s three yes’s indicated that she was someone who had always had talent, but that she was never fully recognized or rewarded for what she was capable of. It’s one thing to sing, another thing to sing extraordinarily well, another thing to sing extraordinarily well in front of judges and an audience that are laughing at you, but you still need to fully win them over to have hopes of broader success.
Lesson: Your talent can’t grow in a bubble, you will need external support. Part of success is being able to garner support from those you need to take your career to the next level. “A ship is safe at harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”
So for parents of kids who are misunderstood, teased or bullied, I hope you’ll watch Susan’s performance with your kids. Talk to them about courage, self confidence, and how teasing can be turned around. Tell them how Susan was often teased as a child, and how that made her stronger. Encourage them to find and nurture their own gifts, and that the best revenge for the teasing is success.
For parents of the beautiful and popular children, I hope you’ll watch this with your kids and take the opportunity to talk to them about impressions and outcomes. Discuss what’s acceptable, inappropriate and cruel. Ask them what kind of person they want to be and whether putting someone else down makes them higher or lower. Some of the questions below could be useful too.
For teachers at all levels, you couldn’t get better class discussion material if you wrote the script yourself. Show the audition to your students and then lead a discussion with some or all of the following:
- As you watch the video, jot down the words you’d use to describe Susan. Stop the video for discussion after her hip roll, right before she starts to sing, after she sings, and then get final impressions after the judge’s comments
- After viewing the full video, ask whether all those words are accurate, fair? Which are, which aren’t?
- How many of those words also describe you?
- If you were Susan’s friend, what advice would you have given her as she prepared for her audition (would you have said, “be yourself” or would you have tried to change her in any ways, which ways?)
- If you were Susan’s friend, what would you have said to her right before she went on stage?
- If you were sitting next to people who were giggling about Susan’s appearance and mannerisms, what would you do?
- If you were interviewing Susan for a job, would her appearance impact your impression of her?
- If Susan showed up as a new person at school or on your work team, what would you expect of her based upon her appearance and first impression?
- Is that fair, acceptable, accurate?
- What is the downside of those impressions?
- What are the lessons for the school yard classroom or workplace? (Have each person write down three lessons, then go around the room until there are no more fresh answers)
- Wrap up the discussion by asking for each person’s favorite take-away and request that each person make a personal commitment to change something about themselves based on the discussion.
For managers, take a look at the list above and see if it sparks some ideas for you. Ask yourselves how often you let your pre-conceived ideas judge your approach to your employees. Do they impact the way you view their performance and how you assign projects? Are you using the right traits to judge how you manage people? When interviewing, do you embrace all aspects of diversity or tend to stick with your original vision of the right new hire for the role? What level of teasing do you tolerate and participate in? What type of team/department do you want to run?
For job seekers, apply for the job you know you can do, even if you’re an unlikely candidate due to “not looking the part” or lacking some experience. Show up at the interview prepared for resistance. But respond with confidence, a thick skin and a sense of humor. Even if you don’t end up getting the job, you’ll have made a positive impression, and you never know where that could lead.
For Susan Boyle, you go, girl! You are an inspiration. Thank you.
The Value of the Struggle
April 10, 2009
Coffee shops can be like airplanes – where you can hear everything around you, but pretend you aren’t listening.
Sitting at the next table was a guy in his early twenties who was trying to be patient as he waited for someone who was obviously late. It was about 9:20, so I’m guessing the meeting was scheduled for 9:00 or maybe even 8:30. He took out his cell phone and dialed, but stopped the call abruptly deciding not to complete the call. He took out the laptop he has put away earlier and started to type. Finally, the person he was waiting for arrived. It was a man in his 50′s and it appeared as though they were meeting for the first time. After introductions and apologies, the conversation began.
The older man started telling the younger man about the struggles in his early career, working several jobs to get through college and several businesses he had started that failed. He proudly described each challenge as a thickened scar that was now overlaid with a badge of courage. The more difficult things were, the more proud he became as he described them.
Observing the pride in the speaker and the admiration in the listener made me think about my son who gets impatient at the first hint of not knowing how to approach a project; my students who became instantly frustrated when I wouldn’t give them a template for the project plan I’d assigned; some (not all :-)) of my career launcher clients who, despite the poor economy, still expect magical sweat-free job offers to materialize; and organizational clients who are managing new-to-market employees who want everything spelled out for them.
It made me think about the value of the struggle.
Now it’s easy to talk fondly and nostalgically about struggles of the past. It’s much harder to appreciate them as you go through them, when you’re not assured a positive outcome. It’s perhaps harder still to watch as other struggle around us. There’s a huge gap between not being supportive and “doing it for them.” But, there’s a fine line between helping too little and helping too much. With Gen Y, we’ve clearly been on the helping too much side of that line. In The Transitional Parent I wrote of children, teenagers and young adults who are always looking for someone to help them get from zero-to-one, not dealing with disappointment, and jobs that are disposable as soon as something is not perfect.
Well, it’s no wonder that Gen Y’s are not experienced in bouncing back from disappointment, need so much direction, and bolt at the first sign of difficultly or things that are not to their liking. We (as parents and teachers) do too much smoothing for them. For example, regarding Gen Y’s weakness at going from zero to one, we often do so much smoothing for them (behind the screens) that they might not even know where zero is. They come into the project at step one and can think they’ve mastered the full project. What a shock when they get into the workplace and get “fix this” as their assignment. Not, here’s the problem, here’s the background, here are the tools you’ll need, here’s a model you can follow, and let me know if you need any help. Just “fix this” can leave them paralyzed, be cause whether they realize it of not, they haven’t had much experience with a simple “fix this.”
The effort to avoid a struggle is natural and understandable. But struggles are where you grow the most. My “Information Technology Leaders” and “On the Career Path” interviews with executives have demonstrated that struggles and mistakes have made for the best learning and growth opportunities. The one that immediately comes to mind is my interview with Tamra Chandler Tamra was the Managing Partner for the Pacific Northwest Business Consulting practice for Arthur Andersen when the Enron case occurred. In the interview Tamra described her realization that the Enron debacle was going to take Arthur Andersen down. She spoke of the difficulty of orchestrating an arrangement that was in the best interest of her staff. The decision to take the team to Hitachi Consulting came after long nights and challenging negotiations. It eventually turned out great for Tamra and her staff. It also positioned her to start her own company PeopleFirm, a consultancy that focuses on helping organizations build a successful “people strategy.” The Arthur Andresen transition was extremely difficult, but it strengthened Tamra in many ways that led her to greater success. Struggle does that.
Struggle is where you find your strength, learn that you can push beyond your previously assumed capabilities, find creative solutions, and learn that you can and will come out the other side. Throughout your life, your struggles are your rights of passage.
So, when we protect our children and students too much from ever having to struggle, we’re actually doing them a disservice. We’re denying them the growth opportunities that will make them stronger and assure them that they can do it. When we step in too much, we can taint their success rather than assuring it. We’re also sending a subtle message that we don’t have faith that they can break through the struggle. They’ll then always be looking for someone to save them, rather than knowing they have the strength, creativity, and potential to succeed on their own.
So parents– let your kids struggle as the work they need to do doesn’t come to them immediately. Before you step in, remember the toddlers’ pride when they buttoned buttons and tied shoes all by themselves for the first time. Think about the broad, true smile of your teenager who made the team without your call to the coach or got an A on a large project that you didn’t help with. They know the difference between succeeding on their own and the success with your backing. One clearly means more than the other and you both know which. Stepping in too quickly also makes kids lazy. They don’t need to try their best or work their hardest because they know you’ll step in a do it for them.
Before you step in to provide “smoothing” assistance, I encourage you to think about why you help so much. Is it because it truly hurts you to witness your struggling child or because you can’t stand the whining anymore? Is it because you really don’t think your child can do it and needs your help or because you feel great by being able to help. Is it because your child is really in trouble or because you need to get on with other things and can’t do that while your child is in struggle mode. Think about which one it is before you step in. Children need to know that their parents are a loving safety net, but they also need to know that their parents will give them the room to learn and grow on their own. When a child says “I can’t do this,” and you step in, you’re saying, “you’re right you can’t do this.” That’s what they hear. (FYI, I’m not passing judgment here, I’m holding up a mirror.)
Teachers –don’t just give your students a template and a “clue” day one, make them figure it out. I know it’s far easier to give them a template that they can fill in – it’s easier to assign, easier to grade, and easier to get a better result early. But are you helping create future leaders who will think for themselves or creating employees who can fill in the blanks and do what they’re told without sufficient thought or sweat? And give the constructive criticism if it’s warranted. In my experience, students value the harsh comments if they know you truly care about their growth and success, and you’re not cruel. And give the low grade when appropriate, even though it will likely mean an unpleasant conversation with a student and, possibly, an even more awkward conversation with a parent. I know it takes time to have the depth and clarity to prepare for those conversations. But when you give the better grade when it isn’t earned, you’re resetting a standard. You cut corners by avoiding the need for intensively detailed feedback and the conversations that are never any fun, but the message to students is that they can cut corners. (FYI, I not passing judgment here either, I have two mirrors 
)
Managers –given that parents and teachers didn’t do it, you will likely have some new-to-market employees who have never really had to use their full capacity to address a challenge. That overlaid with their inherent lack of patience and desire for immediate results will create a challenge. If you give them too much background and provide all the smoothing they desire, you will be perpetuating the problem. If you don’t provide it, you’ll be viewed as unsupportive. Tough spot.
This is why Bruce Tulgen of Rainmaker Thinking refers to Gen Y as “the most high maintenance workforce in history.” Part of your job in effectively managing Gen Y will be walking that tightrope between providing too little direction and too much. As you provide “just the right amount” of direction and training, let them know that you need them to figure things out for themselves and to work through resolving an assignment’s ambiguities, even if it makes them impatient with you and themselves. Be there to support and encourage, but don’t just give them all the tools or create the framework for them. Reassure them that you know they can do it, but be balanced with constructive feedback that will help them grow from their mistakes. As with teachers, if they trust that you care about them and the constructive feedback is thoughtful and accurate, they’ll appreciate it, even if they bristle a bit. It won’t be easy or low maintenance, but you’ll be helping to create a confident, self-reliant and successful employee, and isn’t that a manager’s job?
Gen Y –I truly believe you are an incredibly high potential group. But technology, the internet and all the “smoothing” that’s gone on in your support seems to have left you, not only super efficient, but also extremely impatient. When a struggle arrives, your efficient-minded approach (which often serves you well) can backfire in encouraging you to look for a work-around or exit, rather than embracing the challenge for what it is. So whether it’s your parent, your teacher, or your manager, take a breath before you ask for help and take an even bigger breath before you accept it. A simple, “let me give it a try first” can create a wonderful learning opportunity. Take a bigger breath still before getting frustrated with your parents, teacher or manager when you don’t get what you “need” in term of their support. Maybe they’re giving you the gift of opportunity to earn some battle scars and badges of your own.
Will the current economy make Gen Y “get with the program?”
March 3, 2009
The discussion topic I hear a lot about Gen Y lately seems to be how they’ll react to our current economic climate. Will they ignore it, pretend it will go away, or change their attitudes and expectations about the workplace and their role in it. What these folks are really asking is whether this will get Gen Y’s to “grow up” and start to take work more seriously – to not view this first job as an enrichment opportunity, to recognize that their manager is their manager and not a peer, and to stay in their job even if it isn’t perfect or if they have an opportunity to “go to Europe.” That’s what they’re really asking.
Here’s what I’m starting to see and what I expect will happen.
In short, Gen Y’s may be less choosy about the jobs they accept or the positions they stay in, but they won’t be able to outrun who they are. They might accept a position that doesn’t offer time and place flexibility, or doesn’t pay as much as they’d like, or isn’t what they’re really interested in, or has a command and control management structure. They’ll convince themselves that it’ll be OK and that they need to shift their expectations. They’ll be able to do that for a while. But, if the job and culture are not satisfying, eventually who they really are and what they really want from a job will overcome why they made the decision in the first place, and they’ll either leave or worse, just check out.
It’s not just Gen Y. This kind of thing happens to everyone. Below is a Gen Y example followed by my example.
Lack of Time/Place Flexibility loses a company a great hire that they’d invested in
I recently met with a former student who has started an amazing not-for-profit called Construction for Change http://www.constructionforchange.org/. His story of the job he left went something like this.
“I took a job in the field I wanted. The work was interesting, I was getting great opportunities and I was learning a lot. But they required all the work to be done on site and there was an expectation of 9 – 12 hour days.”
“Was it the kind of work that needed to happen on site and was there so much of it that it required all that time?” I asked.
“No and that’s what bugged me. I wouldn’t have minded putting in the hours if it really needed to take that long. But it didn’t. And needing to be on site all the time left me with no flexibility to get other things done. I had this not-for-profit idea that I was really excited about and needed the time to work on. I know I could have done both effectively, but not if I had to be on site for so many hours a day. I knew it was a tough job market. But, after a year and a half I left that job anyway. I now work part time for a different company and part time on my own not-for-profit. I’m much happier and I’m building something that’s really important.”
Saying it’s OK (to your hiring manager and yourself) in an interview is easier than living it everyday
Many years ago I was being interviewed for a job I really wanted. One of the downsides of the position was that it reported to two people. I’d had that situation earlier in my career and never felt comfortable with it. But I loved the company and really wanted the job, so I accepted the position and told myself that I’d learn to live with the dual reporting relationship. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad this time. Well, I was right and I was wrong. I did love the company and also loved the job I was in. It had that perfect balance of leveraging my strengths and providing opportunities for me to grow in new directions. But the dual reporting relationship was driving me crazy. My performance was suffering. I was becoming crabby and snippy to the people I was hired to support, and resenting any recommendations made by one of my managers who had now become a good friend. It may seem petty, but I resented that I had to report to this person who I viewed more as my peer.
Just at the frustration point where I was considering leaving, the person I considered more peer than manager announced that she was leaving. I took on her responsibilities and continued to report to my other prior manager. I was saved from a series of uncomfortable conversations (“You knew this was a component of the job and said that you were fine with it . . . “) or from having to decide whether it was worth leaving over. But, the bottom line was that I knew before I took the job that it would probably bother me. It was acceptable for a while, but I couldn’t sustain the unnatural acceptance long term.
I recently conducted a “Give & Take” session at a University. In the past when I asked student what they dread about entering the workforce (after a discussion of what they were excited about) the response had generally been around lack of flexibility and constraints on their time. Now what they dreaded was having to take a job they didn’t want.
So, my projection is that Gen Y’s approach to work in this economy is that they may accept jobs they don’t really want telling themselves they’re doing what they have to do. But when it comes to the day to day acceptance, they may be somewhat more tolerant initially, but will eventually leave or check out if the work and the work environment are not stimulating and not supportive.
For manager of Gen Y, same rules as in my past blogs still apply. As I wrote in “Gen Y Retention in a Tough Economy” http://onboardinggeny.com/gen-y-retention-in-a-tough-economy/ retaining employees is only valuable if those are happy employees. Retaining unhappy employees is worse than losing them. Take a good look at your positions, policies and culture through Gen Y glasses:
Time Flexibility
Place Flexibility
Dress Code
Salary
Feedback Frequency
Promotional Frequency
Respect for employees
Access to Internet
Access to Social Networking tools
Current technology tools
Variety of Tasks
Opportunities to work on “goodness” projects
How closely work is tied to what’s important to the business
Working with people your own age
Remember that many of these things are important to all the generations you work with, not just Gen Y. This assessment is helpful in two ways:
First, think about what you can change and what you can’t. What you should change and what you shouldn’t. And make sure you know the difference between the “nice to have” and the “must have” issues that will make your Gen Y’s so unhappy that they check out or leave. A recent Harvard Business Publishing Management Tip entitled “Switch to Task-Based Job Assignments” references a great article called “Think Task, Not Time” written by Tammy Erickson almost two years ago http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/erickson/2007/03/think_task_not_time.html?cm_mmc=npv-_-MGMT_TIP-_-JAN_2009-_-MTOD0116. It still resonates today and provides an example of something businesses can do today that will be appealing not only to Gen Y, but also to other generations in the work force. Other thoughts on how Gen Y is not so different, but more extreme can be found in http://www.ere.net/2009/02/27/the-hidden-gift-your-gen-y-employees-are-offering-you/.
Second, as you do your recruiting (if you’re doing any recruiting) reference this list (and whatever else you’ve added to it) as you interview your potential Gen Y employees. Figure out which of these issues are really important to each candidate and see where your company stands on those issues. If you’re too far apart on the issues that matter, it’s probably not a good fit, no matter how much the candidate insists it will be OK. That said, some new employees will change their mind on things. Remember that for many college students, this will be their first “real job” and they are just starting the process of learning what’s really important to them. As I mentioned in Manager/Employee Sweet Spot, http://onboardinggeny.com/manager-employee-sweet-spot/ sometimes they don’t know what kind of work will interest them since they haven’t had the exposure yet. It will make a patient and skilled interviewer to determine the job aspects that a prospective employee may see as negative initially, but adjust to, and those issues which will eventually become so bothersome that it will cause the new hire to check out and leave. It’s a fine line. Look carefully and think carefully.
Gen Y’s, three things for you. First, use the list above as a starting point in figuring out your work values. Add to the list anything else which is important to you and remove things that are unimportant. Then think carefully about which of those are easy for you to be flexible on and which as more important to you. Stack rank them if it helps. If the job you’re interviewing for meets your top criteria, but not your bottom ones, no big deal. Go for it. But, if it is very inconsistent with the things on the top of your list, you really need to think about whether those are things you can accept long term.
Second, keep in mind that full time work will be different from what you imagine, and that your ideas and what’s important to you will shift over time. For example, I once thought the commute to the Wall Street area from the Upper East Side of NY would be truly miserable. But I took the job anyway because I needed the skill set it would provide. I have to admit, I took the job telling myself I’d continue to look for other jobs in “midtown.” Turns out, the longer commute on the bus gave me more time to read and prepare for my day. And, I met some wonderful people, one of whom, over 20 years later, is still a treasured friend. So, I’m glad I took that job and the thing I thought would drive me crazy didn’t. Also, things in a job will change over time; a manager you don’t care for will move on, a project will be cancelled, a new strategic direction will be initiated etc. Fine lines, tough choices, and really thinking about what’s important.
Third, if you’re already in a job that is not as satisfying as you’d hoped, PLEASE recognize that this economic downturn is real. Don’t view your job as disposable. You will need to recognize that no job will be perfect and that you have a lot to learn, not just from the tasks of your job, but also learning how the organization works and learning about yourself.
Over the years I’ve counseled many students who were disappointed with summer internships to think about other things they can get from the experience and to focus on making the changes they could. Most ended up with a fulfilling experience. They were glad that they “stuck it out. ” They found they gained important skills from work that was less interesting than they’d hoped, but more nuanced than they’d come to believe. And they recognized the valuable experience they got by learning that careful dance of working with their manager to continue to do the work they were hired to do, but migrate their role to other areas of interest. At the end, they got more out of the experience than they ever imagined.
In this economic environment, it’s may be far easier to make your current job better than to find another job that meets your criteria. This is not a time for knee-jerk reactions. It’s time for careful consideration about what you want, what’s available, and what’s really important to you.
Why Gen Y Expects to Lead Changes
February 2, 2009
When it comes to technology, Gen Y’s lead and parents follow. How will that translate to the workplace?
Gen Y’s enter organizations with high expectations. They expect a lot of themselves in terms of excellent performance and ability to positively impact their organization. They also expect a lot from their organizations in terms of opportunity, support, and efficient and effective processes.
When I first joined the workforce many years ago, I noticed procedures that could be changed for the better. But I was reluctant to speak up and had little expectation that I’d be listened to or taken seriously so soon after I’d started with the organization.
Not Gen Y’s!! They’re not shy about speaking up when they see something they think can be improved upon. That may not be such a big change. I’m sure lots of new hires are far more outspoken than I was so many years ago. The most noteworthy thing is their belief that there’s no taboo in commenting up the leadership chain and their expectation that they will be listened to.
Part of this is their upbringing. They have weighed in on family decisions since they could point, and have been encouraged by self-esteem-building-intent parents that they should be heard. They have been coached to think their thoughts, speak up confidently, and not be intimidated.
That’s the more obvious reason. And, by the way, it’s not a bad thing to enter a situation wanting to see / improve upon the broader picture matched with the confidence to speak-up. (OK, with some coaching on how to do this respectfully.) But I recently stumbled upon another reason.
In most cases, parents teach children. It starts with how to eat with utensils and, before you know it, moves to how to fill out college applcations. Children have always tried to teach parents, but it doesn’t always take. (Think of your own examples and take a moment to smile.)
Gen Y gets technology. This is not just a tool for them, it’s in their blood. When a new tool is released, they don’t have to learn it, they automatically seem to understand it and how it can be used. I am in awe of this.
I was having lunch with some college friends. Both women have children who started college this year (ah, life’s circles.) Of the three of us, I’m the most technically inclined. But they were using IM almost exclusively while I use it occasionally. And in their messages to me, they used some acronyms that I didn’t understand.
It’s not uncommon for a trend to start with “the young.” They tend to be the early adopters. But, how often do their adoptions completely change mainstream communication? With technology, Gen Ys have started using tools that have helped them to communicate more readily. In some cases more fully (Facebook) in other cases less (Twitter, IM) but more readily for sure.
“Hey, Mom. If you want to reach me, IM me. Learn the acronyms because that’s what I’ll be using. If you want to understand me, use my new language.” Parents have adopted these tools to communicate with their kids and have found them to be useful beyond those interactions. Then they move on from IM and set up their own Facebook account. Children watch this happen and what’s their conclusion. “When it comes to technology and ways to communicate, I, not my parents, take the lead. When it comes to doing things more efficiently, I teach my parents.” Sometimes this is likely to be more of a subconscious than a conscious a-ha.
So, they enter the workplace where the tools and modes of communication are “old” and expect the same thing to happen. They assume it’s their role to lead the way in the implementation of new tools and how these tools create new, more efficient processes.
That’s why they’re not only comfortable speaking up, but also expect to be listened to. They expect that in the workplace as in the home, they will take the lead in these ways. Even if it takes a while, they expect the established staff to start to see it their way. Just like it happened at home. Sometimes they need to do a lot of training, just like at home. Sometimes they meet resistance, just like at home. But eventually, they assume, the established staff will come on board to their way of thinking and working.
So, for managers, don’t be alarmed or insulted when you see Gen Y’s coming in stunned by how things are done and expecting that the changes they propose should be made. Use this as an opportunity to train them in how to do a proposal and a presentation. Teach them how to be persuasive in your culture. Give them the challenge to “make a case.” You just might be surprised how when you give them room to run, they can be more impressive than you’d ever imagined.
Gen Y’s you need to recognize that the workplace is not your home and your manager, although rooting for you and supporting your success, is not your parent. A workplace is bigger than a family and changes are more complex to implement. Realize that, especially when new to a company or job, you don’t see all the layers and there may be nuances you don’t yet understand about the workplace and its culture. Have your ideas and share your ideas, but do it in a balanced, thoughtful and respectful way. Referring to your workplace or its procedures as “ancient” (with that derogatory) tone will not help your manager sell your ideas and will not help your ideas to be well received. You may be stunned by how backwards things are, but instead of outburst like “You guys are crazy. How can you work like this? Here’s what you have to do,” try “I have an idea” and then back it up with how it can work and how you can contribute to the improvement. When you don’t put people on the defensive, you’ll be amazed how receptive they can be.
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